Thursday, October 28, 2010

Utah In the Midst of an Abrupt Climate Change

Scientists predict that climate in Utah will soon be similar to that of the last ice age


Scientists have been warning us for years about the possibility of abrupt climate change.  The idea that factories and automobiles spewing out massive amounts of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere could potentially drastically change the Earth's climate, may now be coming into effect.

Climatologists have been coming up with models and theories for years in an attempt to attach a timeline to the possibility of abrupt climate change.  However, none of them ever thought that it would happen this soon, or this quickly.  Some sources tell us that we could be seeing temperatures at or below 0 F as soon as January if the current cooling trend continues.

This graph shows the rapid cooling trend compared to a comfortable room temperature


"I can see someone making a movie about this someday in the near future." reports a local climatologist who requests to remain anonymous.  "Throw some big names in there like Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal and Emmy Rossum.  Have it set in New York City, maybe have some teenagers take refuge in some sort of public facility forcing their parents to try and rescue them even though they are hundreds of miles away.  I don't know what you would call it, but I think people would be interested in watching it.  It might help them think about what they will do when it happens to them.  It could happen anytime now.... tomorrow, or possibly the day after tomorrow."

Officials tell us that people should prepare for this abrupt shift in temperatures by purchasing warm clothing, turning on their furnaces, preparing for major traffic delays due to icy roads and stocking up on large amounts of Stephen's Gourmet Hot Chocolate.  Which comes in many delicious flavors and is available at your local grocery store and Wal-Mart stores around the nation.

A Final Push To Finish

Local teen despite struggles and distractions is able to finish mowing lawn


A sweaty and tired Richard Johnson breathed a heavy sigh as he looked at the last stretch of lawn.  He takes a deep breath as he musters up what little energy he has left, curses a few times under his breath and begins to push forward with all his might to finish the remainder of his weekend chores so that he can play with his friends.

Johnson has to finish mowing before he can go to his baseball game














"His Mom is always making him do stuff around the house, like mowing the lawn and cleaning his room."  Johnson's friend James tells us.  "My great uncle is a lawyer, and I'm pretty sure she's breaking some kind of child labor laws by making him do all of this stuff."

Mrs. Johnson was unavailable to comment at the time, but her husband claims that she has no intention of reducing the amount of chores she forces her children to endure.

Report by Mark Dimond, NewsMob