NewsMob: Opinion/Obituaries

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'The O'Reilly Factor' Still on the Air, Viewers Baffled
'War in Iraq' Ends, Combat Troops Still in Iraq Told to "Look Casual"
iCan't, the New App That Generates Excuses, Hits 1 Million Sales. Buyers Claim Their Dog Bought It.
Utah First State to try 'Clothing Optional Forests' to Compete with Coastal States
Vice President John Biden to Change Name to J-Bid
Pakistani Nerd with High Water Jeans Laughs Last During Flood Season
Badminton Officially a 'Sport' Some Say
Advertisements Get Out of Hand (Sponsored by McDonalds) In Online News Media
Falling Tree Cries for Help With No One Around to Hear It
Creators of 'Land Before Time' Ran Out of Roman Numerals for Next Sequel
Gravity Gets the Best of Uncle Charlie's Zipper at Party
"You've had worse." - BP President to Seagulls in the Gulf
Blind Man Having Trouble Updating His New itouch
'Team Jacob' Poised to Lose to a Stacked 'Team Edward'
Alien Planet Explodes Two Million Years Ago - Astrologists Say

Your Horoscope Today:

Libra - Be happy and show it. A smile never killed anyone, you did. And smiles in mug-shots are rare.

Virgo - Romantic, spontaneous, and daring today. Ironic that you'll be at a family reunion all day.

Leo - Try not to tell anyone that you're a Leo in casual conversation. Also try not to tell anyone that you're an alcoholic in casual conversation.

Cancer - Today would be a good day to stop being so agreeable and optimistic. Also, today your neighbor will propose to you.

Taurus - Your near-sightedness will lead to disaster during a family lawn darts match.

Gemini - Something big in your life will change things forever. Steer clear of semis, bears, and obese friends.

Aries - You will find yourself disillusioned with how little your horoscope says today.

Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Piscese - You are not as important or cool as the others.... That is all.

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Opinion/Obituaries